Here we go… another election season. Is it over yet?

When politics is the topic of the day (or week, or month, or year) talking to people can become stressful really fast. Your social media may be flooded with articles you do not want to see, you may find yourself rolling your eyes at your coworkers, and let’s not even go into what talking about politics is like with your parents or family.

For many people, home is your refuge. It’s where you can get away from the intensity, let off steam, and set aside the nonsense of debating.

But what if your partner has a different political opinion? It can sometimes be the cause of serious relationship issues.

As much as we may try to avoid talking about politics with our partner, it’s going to come up eventually – especially in an election year. Sometimes, all it takes is a snide joke while reading the morning paper or listening to the nightly news, and suddenly you’re in full-on argument mode, ready to take each other down.

But most couples don’t have to let it get this far. If you prepare. If you set ground rules. Before you have a discussion about politics (or any taboo subject, for that matter), you and your partner have to agree on two things:

You both have a right to your opinion. Because it is just that – your opinion. Your partner does not have the right to tell you that you are “wrong,” and you do not have the right to tell your partner that he or she is “an idiot.”

If either of you misquotes something or uses inaccurate statistics, it is perfectly reasonable to provide research and facts that are more up-to-date. But in the end, you both have a right to your political views.

You both can learn something new. Remember, bothparties must agree to this before you begin any potentially heated discussion – political or otherwise.

It is crucial that you listen to what your partner is saying when you discuss politics, rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak. Listening to your partner’s opinion can help you see their perspective – and maybe even learn something new.

Where Are Political Discussions Appropriate?
        
Political discussions can erupt anywhere… and with anyone. Do you dread holiday dinners because of the inevitable politics discussion? You’re not alone.

If you get uncomfortable or embarrassed when your partner gets into political discussions with your friends or family, let him or her know!

During a quiet moment at home or while you are having a private discussion, talk to your partner about where you think political discussions are appropriate (and where they aren’t!). Your partner may disagree with your views here, but come to a couple’s answer about where it is okay to bring up politics – and both of you stick to it.

It is completely normal for couples to go through rough patches or uncomfortable periods in their marriage. After all, you probably spend more time with your spouse than anyone else. And life is not always perfect.

But it’s not fun to find your marriage in a rut. Moreover, if a rut continues for too long, it can eventually push you further apart and cause much bigger problems.

Don’t let that happen. Consider these tips to get your marriage back on the upswing.

Be honest. And do it as soon as possible. Often times, couples do not want to admit to themselves or each other that they are feeling insecure in their marriage.

It’s not an enjoyable conversation to have, but it’s necessary to address lingering conflicts or negative feelings.  Be upfront and gentle in sharing with your spouse. Have this conversation as soon as you can.

Listen. Your spouse may see your rut in a different light than you. When it is your spouse’s turn to talk about his or her feelings, really listen!!

This is the only way to know if you are on the same page, or if there is something you need to do to support your spouse during this time.

Determine if the problem lies elsewhere. Is your marriage in a rut, or are you in a rut? Sometimes, stress from outside your relationship (work, family, self-confidence) can have a huge affect on your relationship. This is dangerous, since it may cause you or your partner to blame your relationship for your problems, rather than the real culprit (outside stress).

Do a self-assessment if you’re feeling especially insecure or frustrated in your marriage. How are you handling other aspects of your life? Understanding the origins of your frustration is the best way to move forward and improve your mood.

Refresh. If you need some time to heal or work on personal issues, there is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself. Go on a hiking trip alone, or attend a retreat for that will allow you to reflect and rejuvenate.

When you come back to your spouse after some self-care, you will feel refreshed and ready to work on your relationship.

Consider relationship coaching. Often, we get so wrapped up in our problems with our spouse that we cannot see the greater issues. This is a great time for a relationship coach/therapist to come in and work you through the rut in your marriage.

An unbiased, trained third party will help you and your spouse see different perspectives and alternative suggestions for bringing the spark back to your marriage.

Valentine Couple in love showing Heart with their fingers

Congratulations!

The big day is here. Your anniversary! Whether you have enjoyed a year, five years, or 50 years together, anniversaries are a wonderful reason to celebrate your love and your marriage.

Your anniversary might fall in the middle of the week while you and your spouse are working, or around the holidays. But even if there are other “important” things going on, your relationship deserves special attention and celebration.

Not sure how to make this year stand out from all the years before? We have a few suggestions for ways to celebrate that both of you will love.

Relive Your First Date. Go back to the place that started it all. Relive your first date with your spouse. It’s an amazing way to travel back in time and feel the rush and excitement from when your relationship first began. Get those butterflies going again!

Explore a New Vacation Destination. Anniversaries celebrate a new year of growing and building your relationship. Kick off this milestone with a vacation to a place you and your spouse have never been. Take a cruise to an exciting island. Or drive across the country. If you don’t want to go too far, find a bed and breakfast in a part of the state – or even city! – that you’ve never gotten around to visiting. Maybe you’ll “just” find a new coffee shop or jewelry store. But taking the trip together will help to bolster your connection, expand your horizons, and prepare you for everything that’s ahead in the coming year.

Have a Handmade Gift Exchange. Take this time to create something new for your spouse. Exchange gifts, but with a twist – they have to be handmade. Even if you are not crafty, you can find a way to put your personality and your love into a gift and create something entirely new for a new year with your spouse.

Enjoy the Day with Family. Together, you have created a beautiful home and a loving family. Celebrate your achievements with a family reunion. Your children and grandchildren will be happy to celebrate with you, and you can reflect on all the beautiful memories your marriage has created.

Recap The Past Year. Don’t have time for a big event? Stay in and take the day to reflect. Celebrate the highlights of your past year, the memories you’ve made, and the lessons you’ve learned. Did you find a new restaurant you both love? Find a new movie or TV show to watch over and over? Did any roadblocks, or milestones, teach you about your spouse and your relationship?

In general, this is also a great day to discuss how you and your partner grew over the past year. To keep this tradition going, make goals for your relationship to look at on your next anniversary.

As the years go on, you may feel like you don’t know how to bring new lessons and excitement to your marriage. For building blocks and relationship counseling, consider giving the Delaware Relationship Center a call.